


Running from the Feds

by spageddy



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Multi, ok honestly idk who melissa is going to end up with, reader influence will decide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-18 18:24:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17585987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spageddy/pseuds/spageddy
Summary: Melissa (my OC) is just a normal girl but then she gets sentenced to death for her crimes and the Phantom Troupe rescues her





	1. Vehicular Manslaughter

A/N The phantom troupe doesn’t come in until near the end of this chapter but don’t skip it cuz there’s important plot details

 

I was driving in my hot pink Subaru Outback driving to school and listening to my favorite song, Bohemian Rhapsody by the Beatles. It’s an old song so you probably haven’t have heard of it. Anway I was listening so hard I forgot to look in front of me and all of a suddenly there was a person right in front of me!!! I meant to slam on the brakes but I accidently hit the gas instead (I just got my licence so it’s hard for me to tell the difference sometimes.)

“FUCK!” I yelled, I was too late to stop now. I didn’t stop and my tires crunched over the small human that was in front of my Subaru. I hope it wasn’t a child I could get in real trouble.

Should I stay and see if the person was still alive? Or should I commit a hit and run so I wont get in trouble? I just got my licence and I can’t get it revoked now! I had to drive away. So I floored it. And looked into the mirror to see what behind me. There was a trail of blood traling behind my car. AND SIX COPS!!!!

With all the blood on my tires they could easily track me. How to get rid of it? I  just had to drive until it all wore off I guess. Or...I had an even better idea. 

I drove on to the beach (I live by the beach hehe) and into the ocean so the water would wash off all the blood on my tires. However I wasn’t anticpiating that the water and sand would slow down me slow me down so much. I pushed the gas pedal down as far as it would go but my car wasn’t moving, just spraying up sandy water all over my car’s hot pink chrome finish. 

The cops circled around me and pulled out there guns. “Come out with your hands up!” they yelled at me.

Well I guess I had no choice. I got out of my Subaru and let the police arrest me. They took me to jail and locked me up. 

Jail was not fun. The food sucked eggs  and I couldn’t listen to my music. They gave me one phone call which I used to call my mom, but she didn’t pick up. She never picked up. For once that was a good thing, because I didn’t really want to explain to my mom that I killed someone and tried to run away. I think it would trigger her alcoholism. I had to stay in jail until my trial, which was a few days I don’t know I lost track of the days. I wondered if my mom even noticed I was gone. 

I don’t even know what was the point of having a trial. Everyone knew I did killed that guy, it was on the news and everything. It was so humiliating, all the witnesses just listed all the evidence that I killed that guy and I had to relive that tramatic nightmare. It was like a big cringe compilation, and I was the cringe. 

Now it was the part of the trial I was dreading the most. The jury convicted me guilty, no surprise there, but it was time to hear my punishment.

Judge Judy slammed her hammer thing on the table. “Order in the court!” she said, and turned to look at me with cold, emotionless eyes. “Melissa, you have been convicted of manslaughter and are hereby sentenced to death.”

I was so shocked I couldn’t believe it. Here I was, only a teenager, and I was being put to death. Damn, I thought I would at least live until I turned 20. 

I thought of my self. I didnt want to die! But more importanly what would my mom react? Would she drink even more than she already does? Would she even notice I was gone?

I was broken out of my wonderings by the sound of glass breaking. A large man with guns for fingers was shooting at the audience. Shooting at everyone except me. 

I felt arms around my neck and mouth. It was another man. He picked me up and started carrying me out of the courtroom. “What the heck? What’s going on?” I exclaimed, but the man didn’t answer. 

The man took me out to a black limousine and told me to get inside.

“Hurry, get inside,” he said.

There were people running out of the courtroom after me so I listened, but as soon as I got inside I demanded to know what was happening. “Hey who are you? And what is happening?” I demanded. I looked around the limo, there were a few others in the limo too. I noticed that big guy with the finger guns was in the limo too. 

The man who carried me over here didn’t answer me at first since he was busy hitting the gas and driving against the flow of traffic. But then he answered me. “My name is Shalnark and we’re getting you out of here,” he said. 

“Oh,” I said, that’s all I could say. 


	2. Fuck Blue Lives

I started questioning if this was okay. I mean I was running away from the police  _ again _ . No, it was definitely not okay. But if I went back there they would euthanize me!!! I felt a burst of anxiety in my veins. They might have kille me humanely last time, but if they caught me again they’d prolly make my death slow and agonzing. Like cut off all my fingers first then make me walk through fire to my death. ‘

I dook a deep breath. No that couldn’t happen, I consoled myself. There was a law against cruel and unusual punishment, I learned that in my US government class. But wasn’t death the cruelest punishment of all?? They were gonna do that to me. 

I looked over at Shalnark to distract me from my existenitial thoughts. He was texting someone on his phone. Texting while driving!!! 

“Hey, what if the cops see you!” I said concerned.

“Fuck blue lives,” said Shalnark continuing to text while driving.

I looked over to see what he was texting. It said “we’ll be there soon :D” Be WHERE soon?? Everything was so confusing. 

Suddenly I was jerked forwards as Shalnark made a sharp turn. Oh that’s right, the cops were right behind us. There were even more than last time, crawling out of every corner like weevils. I didn’t even know there were that many cops in this city. 

The big fella with the finger guns shot them down just as fast as they came until there were a few brave, stupid stragglers tailing us. It looked like we were actually gonna make it!

Shalnark zigzagged through the streets, ignoring rules of the road. I may not be the best driver but I could tell there were some stop signs he skipped. I knew we were in a police chase but it made me wonder if Shalnark even had a lisence. 

Finally we pulled up at an abandoned church. Well it looked abanandoned, there was graffiti all over it and it was crumbling apart in some places. 

“Okay crew, let’s get inside before anyone sees us!” said Shalnark cheerfully, and the other guys followed him inside.

“This is sketchy as hell,” I said but I didn’t want to die, at least not immediately, so I followed the other guys inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls like and comment thx


	3. Chrollo

There were even more people inside, sitting in the pews of the church. And on the alter there was a goth looking guy with a long black coat reading by a candle. Was he a preist? Was this a cult? 

Shalnark patted me on the head. “Chrollo wants to talk to you,” he said, pointing at the goth guy.

“Who’s Chrollo?” I said.

“That guy,” he said, keeping on pointing at the goth guy.

“The one with the book?” I asked wanting to make sure.

“Yeah,” he said.

“Ok thanks.” I started to walk over to Chrollo. I didn’t really like the vibes I got from him. His outfit was so cringe and he looked like a christian. He looked up at me with his eyes and smiled creepily. 

“Melissa,” he said.

“Damn your breath tho!!” I said, covering my nose with my hand. 

“You should pay more respect to the boss,” said a short girl with pink hair that had come up next to him. 

“It’s okay Machi, I’m used to being disprespected,” Chrollo said sighing.

“Tch,” said Machi. 

He looked at me again, and I was genuinely concerned. His unnaturally large eyeballs were bulging out of his skull like a hamster when you hold it upside down. 

“I wou;d like to formally invite you to join the Phantom Troupe.” 

I assumed that was the cult thing they had going on. “Uhh why?” I asked confused, why would they want  _ me _ ? I’m just…Melissa. There’s nothing that special about me. I have brown hair and boring brown eyes. I don’t have very many friends, never had a boyfriend, and even my mom doesn’t like me that much. This was probably just some prank.

“Well” said Chrollo, “If you kill one of our members you can join, and you killed Kortopi so..”

I started cry. I didn’t want to keep reminded about that!! “It was just an accident!” I cried.

“Doesn’t matter,” said Chrollo. “Either way you killed him and he’s dead. You can’t change the past you just have to accept it.” 

That was really deep. I wiped my eyes and sniffed up my snot. “Thank you I really needed to hear that. But I still don’t even know what the phantom troupe even is.”

“We do crimes,” Chrollo explained.

I don’t know if I wanted to join anymore. I mean I didn’t really like doing crimes? But I had committed so many felonies during the past few days I doubted I could ever live a normal lifestyle again. It was just like Chrollo said, you can’t change the past you just have to accept it. I was a criminal now whether I liked it or not. And it was better to have a support group of other criminals than to face the anti-crime community on my own. “Then I’ll join,” I said confidently. 

“Cool,” said Chrollo, smiling and reaching out his hand for me to shake it, but it looked moist so I didn’t. 

Machi narrowed her eyes at me. “Boss, are you sure we can trust her? She won’t even shake your hand.”

“Yeah cause it looks gross!” I said indignatly.

“All you gotta do to join is kill one of the current members so. Yeah,” said Chrol.

“I’m sorry but that’s literally the stupidest rule you’ve ever made up. An  _ enemy  _ could join just because they killed one of us. Did you forget what happened with Hisoka?”

Chrollo scrunched up his short eyebrows and scrathed his chin. He was quiet in thought for a moment. “It be like that sometimes,” he said finally. 

Machi rolled her eyes. “I don’t trust her,” Machi said.

“Well your instincts are usually right… But im just gonna pretend like I didn’t hear any of that.”

“Can I go now,” I said.

“Sure,” said Chrollo. “but I wouldn’t leave the hideout for a while since the police are probly still looking for you. Make yourself at home though, there’s some raisins in the kitchen if you’re hungry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment ur thoughts :)


	4. Feels bad

I wasn’t very hungry, and certainly not for raisins, so I had to pass on Chrollo’s offer. Today was so chaotic and stressful and I kinda just wanted to take a nap. I snooped around the rest of the troop hideout for a place I could sleep. I ended up getting a little lost and I ended up in a library full of books about god. 

“Ah so tired” I talked to myself as I piled up a stack of bibles for a bed to sleep on. 

But for some reason I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about what Machi said, how she didn’t trust me. What did I ever do to her? I cried into my book pillow. 

Sundenly I heard foot steps coming into the room. “What the fuck dod you do to my bibles!” Chrollo said sounding kinda angry.

“S-s-sorry!” I said, sitting up and toppling off the bible pile. 

“The word of the lord should never be on the floor,” Chrollo lectured me. He stormed over and inspected his bibles. “What the fuck man! I cant belive you drooled all over my bibles. Wait...” He put his finger in the pool of liquid on the book cover and licke it. “That’s not drool... Were you crying just now?” 

He looked at my in my eyes and saw that they were wet with water. “Why are you crying do you hate us?” 

Ah so ambarrassing I hated cry in front of people. “No I don’t hate you but I think Machi hates me,” I said trying to hold my tears back.

“Why do you think that”

“She said she doesn’t trust me,” I said.

“Well trusting isn’t the same as hating. I mean not trusting. I mean not trusting isn’t the same as hating.”

“Yeah but I dunno.”

“Trust is earned not give,” Chorllo said. “You will just have to proove yourself.”

With that he got up and started to put his bibles back on the shelf. I felt bad for messing them all up but I hated cleaning so like I wasn’t gonna help him. 

“I’m hungry I’m gonna go eat some rasins,” I said (not really but I just didn’t wanna be around him anymore) then I left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to like andcomment thanks


	5. Where are the raisins

It took a while to finally found the kitchen but I did it. I went inside and saw a goth girl staring in the fridge without moving.

“Um what are you doing?” I asked.

“I don’t remember,” she said.

“Okay then. Do you know where the raisins are?” 

“Hmmm,” she said putting her finger to her chin. “ I forget where we put them. But maybe they’re in the oven?”

“Yeah maybe,” I said. We looked in the oven, but they weren’t there. They weren’t in the freezer either. Where could they be?? Okay now I was actually hungry, so where were the fucking raisins?

“Hey Shizuku, and uh, who are you again?” asked Shalnark coming into the kitchen.

“Melissa,” I reminded him. Geez he’s the one that brought me here he should know my name.

“What are you guys doing?” he asked. 

“Looking for the raisins,” said Shizuku. “Do you know where they are?”

“I think you and Feitan ate the last of them,” said Shalnark. 

“Oh I did? Darn.”

“Why, are you hungry?”

“I am,” I said. “It’s okay though, I don’t really like raisin. Is there anything else to eat?”

“Uhh no,” said Chalnark scratching his head in embarassment. “We really need to go to the grocey store.” 

“Well like..when are we gonna go cuz I’m starving,” I said.

“Let’s go tell Chrollo and we can go now,” he said, so we went to find cChrollo.

He was still in the library when we found him. He looked up from a book he was reading and looked at us. “I’m reading my Bible what the fuck do you want,” e said.

“We need more raisins,” said Shalnark.

“Yep we’re fresh out,” Shizuku chimmed in.

“Oh, that’s nod good. Okay come on, if we leave now we can hit up Traider Joes before it closes.”

So we all started to walk out of the church to get in the car. But on the way we ran into Machi.

“Where are you all going?” she asked supspiciously. 

“Trader joes,” I said. 

She narrowed her eyes at me. What, did she not believe me?? Why would I lie about going to trader joes. “Can I come along too? I want to get some more cookie butter,” she said.

“Sure there’s 5 seats in the car so that’s perfect!” said Shalnark.

So we all got into the limo and headed to the store. Chrollo drove, and since Shalnark was the most tech savy he got shitgun and gave Chrollo directions from his GPS. Machi was the shortest so she got the middle seat and I had to sit next to her. Ugh.

It was awkwardly quiet except for Siri sometimes saying where to turn so Chrollo put on some of his music. I almost recognized it almost immediately.

“Is this Bobemian Rhapsody?!” I said excitedly. “This it’s my favorite song by One Direction!”

“Yeah,” said Chrollo. Wow, I thought, okay mayeb Chrollo was cooler than I thought.


	6. Veganism

We pulled up to Trader Joe’s and Chrollo gave us the plan.

“Ok here’s the plan. We go in and steal everything in the store, onviously. But we have to be careful since we already commited a crime today and the authorities are on the lookout. Shuzuku do you think you can vaccuum up all the food in your vacuum?”

“Of course, boss.”

“Ok and Shalnark, I need you to control the cashiers with ur phone so they don’t get mad.”

“Got it.”

“What do me and Machi do?” I asked.

“Uhh I dunno, you ladies can just hang out and talk if you want.”

I looked at Machi nervously, who was just scowling as usual. Come to think of it I had never seen her smile before.

“I’m not sure if you should make Shizu and Shal do all rhe work,” she said. “It’s a lot of food for just two people to steal inconspicuously. The customers are definately going to notice and call the cops.”

“Oh no no, Machi, you got it all wrong. I said to steal all the  _ food _ , not the inedible garbage that contains cheese and meat.” 

“Oh that’s right, the boss is vegan,” Shizuku said. 

“Um what about the rest of us? I’m not vegan,” I said. If Chrolo’s idea of food was just raisins...I was gonna frickin starve.

Machi turned on me, blue eyes glaring. “This is a  _ team effort _ to take a step towards being more concientious of the enviroment.”

Geez okay I thought, but I didn’t say it out loud because I was embarrased. 

“Ayy it’s okay we are all learning,” said Shalnark. “Let’s just go.”

We all started walking into trader Joes but Chrollo stopped us.

“Wait no one goes until I say so,” he said.

We stopped and looked back at him. “Okay let’s go.”

Shalnark and Shizuku got to work on stealing produce while Machi, Chrollo an I strolled through the store. We hit the snack aisle first, and my eyes widened in delight at the sea of beige carbohydreights. My sights landed on a bright orange bag of Oven-Baked Cheese Bites. I picked them up but Chrollo’s sweaty hand slapped them out of my grasp. “Uh uh uh, those have chease in them,” he said.

“Oops sorry…” I said looking back at them longingly.

“Hey guys, are you finding everything okay?” Out of nowhere we were confronted by a perky youth in a Trader Joe’s uniform and a nametag that read “Peter.”

Machi and i pretended we didn’t hear him and slowly backed away like we were backing away from a wild beast. And there wasn’t much of a difference between man and beast in this sitiuation. Once a T. Joe’s employee pounced, there was no escape from their overly casual banter. Poor Chrollo, he didn’t know what he was getting himself into.

“Oh, hello, uhm...Peter! Yes I’m fine thank you. Actually--I was wondering if these Dark Chocolate Nutty Bits are fair trade? And do you have a dairy free version of those Oven Baked Chese Bites? My friend over there wanted them but you see, we’re  _ vegan _ \--Melissa? Where’s you go? Melissa??”

“Rest in piece,” I mumbled to myself as Machi and me snaked around to the frozen food aisle.


	7. gotta split up

I dont’ know which was colder, the frozen food aisle or Machi’s vibes. She didn’t say anything so I looked around for a conversation starter. I spotted a frozen ice cream dessert thing and poked her. “Look, it says Machi!” 

“That says mochi,” said Machi. 

Well, I tried. 

“Oh hey, it’s  _ vegan _ mochi!” she said, her expression duddenly lighting up a little bit. 

“We should take some for the road,” I said, grabbing s few boxes and putting them into my basket. 

“Shizuku has it covered, we’re only pretending to shop and make sure everything goes smoothy,” said Machi. 

“I know but won’t it take a while to get it out of her vaccum? I wanted to take some for the road.” 

“And eat in the car? We just got it cleaned. Have some repect for the troupe’s utilities.”

“Your saying that like I’m not even a member, just some.. some pest! What is your problem, why don’t you trust me?!”

Machi looked away all pissed off. 

“Look I din’t ask for this okay? I didn’t want to kill that guy. I didnt want to go to jail or get on death row or be a member of a crime syndicate. I didn;t want to lose my phone, my hopes of re-assimilation into society, and my Subaru. This is just as hard for you as it is for you as it is for as it is for me! And your unfounded distrust just makes it even more miserabe! Yeah this wasnt my first choice, but Im not some low life traiter thats gonna betray the people that rescued my life.”

An old lady rolled up to us with her cart. “Excuse me ma’am, do you know where I can find the Thai... Vegetable.. Gyoza, I believe it’s called? I just bought them for the first time last week and they were  _ so delicious _ ! My granddaughter Hermelinda just couldn’t get enough of them. She ate the whole bag in one night and has been craving them ever since! I just can’t seem to remeber where I found them, though.”

“Um we don’t work here,” I said. Turning back to machi I continued my soliloquey. “ The phantom troupe has been thre for me more than my alcoholic mom ever has and i wouldnt trade them for the word. Shalnar broyght me here. Chrollo gtold me some powerful words of wisdom. Shizuku helped me look for raisins. These are the peope that mean most to me and if  you dont see that well, I dont know what to tell ya.”

Machi’s gaze traled to the ground. “Your...just like me.”

“Charged with manslaughter?”

“No, unlike you I can drive. But I didn’t have mucha of a choice to join to troupe. My mom threw me in a landfill when i was a baby and i was on my own until I met the pople that would form the original spiders. We didnt have much but we had each other, and that was enough. And about not trusting you… I’m sorry. The spiders have lost so many members, it’s hard for me to warm up to anyone new out of fear they might betray us or die. Out of the original troupe, only me, Crollo, Feitain, Nobunanga and Franklin are left.”

“Damn that sucks,” I said.

“A while ago I thought i would finally be able to open up again when Pakunoda and I started dating, but she ended up getting killed because an ex-member gave our info to our emenies. I know it isnt an excuse but I figured you deserved to know. So please forgive me, I shouldn’t let my past experiences cloud my opinion of someone I never met.” 

“It’s ok, I’m just relived you dont actually hate me,” I said.

Just then we heard clunking footsteps and our heads swiveled to see Peter from ealier. Chrollo must have escaped him somehow. “How’s it going, ladies? Looks like a mighty interesting conversation you’re having! Mind if I join in? You see, my boss didn’t give me anything to do today besides talk to customers, nut lucky for me that’s my favorite part of meing a trader Joe’s employee!”

Machi and I looked at each other. “Run,” she said, and we split up. Peter couldn’t catch both of us if we split up. 


	8. Suspitious

I ran as fast as I could, thankfully Peter didint catch me because I was too fast. But coming my way was yet another employee!! Just like the manslaughter incident I didn’t have time to slow down and I ran right into his hawaiian shirt. “WHERE DID YOY EVEN COME FROM” i said in angry surpise.

“Oh, me? I was just in the back~” said the tall and pointy looking man. “Oh dear me, it looks like yoi’ve been having some trouble finding you’re grocieries, May I help?”

“No Im all good,” i said trying to move him along. 

“But all you’ve got in your cart is mochi. A woman like you needs more than that don’t u ghink?

“What are you trying to say?”

“Nothing~”

“We I will be going now,” I said, but he grabed my elbow so i couldn’t move.

“Pleas e let me help you theres literally nothing to do right now.”

“Um don’t you think this is a little inappropriote? I mean I don;t even know youre and your touching my elbow…”

“I’m Hisoka,” said Hisoka. “Ok now you know who i am so let’s go~” As he draged me by my elbow to the produce section I wandered where I heard that name before. Oh well it was a pretty common name so it probably wasn’t a big deal. 

He started putting varous fruits in my basket against my will and occasionally monologing about how much he loved the. I zoned him out and looked arond for a window to make sure it was still light out. Instead I saw Machi again coming around the cormer, and I waa about to signal for her to come rescue me but she just gave me a death glare and walked away. What was that all about? I though we had made up?

Hisoka semed to notice me and Mahci’s exchanged glances and he narrowed his golden orbs. “Alright that should be enouh to last ya a couple years. Remember, a fruit a day keeps the scurvy away~” he said hurriedly, padding me on the head and disapearing down the aisle. 

“What was that all about,” I wondered a loud, and began to put all the unwanted fruits back on the shelfs. 

I saw Shizuku coming toward me ith a concern look. “Melissa have you seen Chrollo and Shalnork?”

“No I haven’t not in a while. Why, are you done vacuming up the food?”

“No,” she said. Her answer was shocking to me, but as i looked around and saw that pretty much all the food was still on the shelves, I relaized she was telling the truth. “And about that...I really need to find Chrollo and Shalnark to tell them I cant vaccuum the food anymore.”

“What why not?” I asked.

“I forgot that my vacuum can only spit out the last thing it sucked up. So if I suck up all of it we’ll never be able to get it back out. We need a new plan. We need chrollo.”

“Hmm well I saw chrollo talkig to an employee earlier but he must have escaped because the same employer tried to come after me and Machi. Maybe we should split up and look for him.”

“Yeah sounds good,” said Shisuku and we parted ways once more.

I was about to search the wine aisle when I saw none other than Hisoka again. I made a run for it, but something mysteariously pulled me right back like a rubber band. 

“Hello again~” he said. “Sorry for leaving ya hangin. There was a...cleanup on aisle 5 that needed my attentio.”

“I understand” I said.

“Hey wait, what happened to all the fruit I gave you?” he said looking in my zasket, his eyes filled with sadness and hurt.

“The wind blew them out og my basket,” I lied to make him feel better.

He signed, uncomvinced. “Well you can lead a whores to water but you can’t make it drink.”r

Then I saw Peter walking towards us. Oh god I was getting double Joe’d. I closed my eyes, maybe if I couldnt see him he coudn’t see me. It must have worked because he walked right past me to mutter something in Hisoka’s left ear. “I’ve secured the hostages,” he muttered.

“Sausages? What the fuck?” said Hisoka.

“No... _ hosteges _ .”

“I heard you say saucages.”

“Well I didn;t I said hostages.”

“Ok fine whatever let’s just go,” said Hisoka, and the two of them walked off toward the employees only door. Wow I wondered what they were going to do with all that sauceage. 

I shrugged and walked away, but just then I ran into Mahi and Shizuku. “What are you doing you dunce? Follow them!” hissed Machi angrily. 

“Oh I said and i followed behind them as they followed behind Hiska and Peter in the staff only door. “Hey wait are u sure this is okay it says staff only,” I said.

“”I don’t” think so” said Shizuku. “But they are acting suspitious.”


	9. taste of defeet

We entered the employee room into a dark wearhouse. I was greatful it was dark so Hisoka and Peter wouldnt see us breaking the eployees only law. I couldn’t see much but I could see Hisokka and Peter standin by 2 tied up men. 

“Well well well well, you thought you could steal from Trader Joes did you?” said Peter.

“It’s not like that! We were just...just…”

“Silence, twink!” said Peter.

I regocized the tied up guy’s voice from somewhere..was that, Shalnart?

“You won’t get away with this!” said the other guy. Hey was that Chrollo?

“Oh but we already have. It’s time to pay for your crimes,” said Hisoka, crinkling a bag of frozen nuggies.

“Please tell me thats tofurkey,” Chrollo begged.

“Nope~” said Hisoka. “It’s the real deal. MSG-enhanced, hormone-filled, color-injected, inorganic chicken nuggets.”

“I didn’t even know they sold something so despicable at trader Joe’s.”

“Oh, Chrollo, I got these from Food Maxx...Now say ahh~”

“No! STOP! Please stop!!!” said Chollo trying despritely to get free.

“Here comes the airplane~”

“HELP!! SOMEONE PLEASGHDHFKSFKLHGH” Chrollo’s pleas became muffled as Hisoka shoved nuggets down his throat.

“How do ya like all that meat in ur mouth?”

“God I can’t watch,” whispered Shizzuku. 

Mean while Peter had stolen Shalnark’s phone and was changing the names of all his contacts and posting embarassing things on his twitter. “You can fuck with Save Mart. You can fuck with Grocery Outlet. Hell, you can even fuck with Whole Foods. But nobody, NOBODY fucks with tRader Joes,” he said.

“We can’t let’s this go on like this,” said Machi desicively. “Ladies, let’s go.”

“Hey wait what--” Machi and Shizuku jumped out of our hiding spot before I could ask what we were even gonna do. Like what the fuck were we gonna do? If we didnt have a plan we could just be kid napped like Cholo and Sharnark. 

“Whos there?” yelled Peter.

“Huh?” said Hissoka seeing me, Machi and Shizuku. “Oh, its only the girls. They can’t really do anything, just ignore them.” 

“I’ll show you who can’t really do anything you fucking bimbo,” said Machi, opening the unopened packeges of mochi and pelting them at Hisoka. 

He tried to catch them in vain and sobbed on the floor. “Th-thats so wasteful..”

“You better back off and give back Chrollo and Shaknark or I’ll vaccum everything in this warehouse and u’ll never get it back,” Shuziku taunted waving her vacume cleaner menacingly. 

“Okay! Okay..” said Peter untieing the haustages. Shallnark leaped up as perky as ever but Chrollo stayed where he was with a dead look in his eyes. 

“Come on Chrollo let’s go,” said Machi. “Hellooo.” She waved her hand in front of his face but he ddidn’t respond. “Fucking useless.” She lifted Chrollo up on her back like a fireman and we all walked out of the staff room. 

Peter called to us from the doorway. “Don’t think you’ve won. I’ll make sure the shaodow of what youve done hangs over you for the rest of your pathetic lives in the form of a lifetime ban from this establishmen. Once I talk to my manager its over.”

“Tell me how his boots taste,” said Machi. That was the last thing sh said before we got back to the troupe hide out. It was the last thing ANY of us said. The car ride home was as silent as a silent film as we stewed in our defeat and acheing hunger.


End file.
